In a more mature perspective of love and companionship, it has often been said, if marriage is not the goal, then why go into a relationship or even enter a courtship process in the first place?
If this is so, then why choose a partner who has no intention of getting serious and permanent with you?
There is totally nothing wrong with finding a man who has great physical attributes. However, more than the good looks, intelligence, and perfect physique – his heart and how he views God in his life matter A LOT.
Just like some other “guarded” and “walled” women, I’ve set high standards in choosing my life partner. I used to enumerate everything – God-fearing, loving, faithful, responsible, good provider, free from vices, financially established, mature, good-looking, and so much more.
These were my “requirements” for a man to be able to win my heart. But along my journey, those “preconditions” were trimmed down to only one – I want a Godly man. It’s a non-negotiable. From there, I believe, everything will follow.
After some wrong turns and failed hopes on love, I knew that what I truly need is someone who adores God enough to pursue a life in line with His teachings no matter how hard it may be. Someone who embraces obedience. That’s where he will also grow wisdom.
Proverbs 19:11 says “A man’s wisdom gives him patience.” Patience includes a selfless desire to consider what’s best for the other.
It dawned on me that choosing a Godly man for a partner is like marrying an imperfectly perfect person to spend the rest of my life with.
I realized that the makings of a good husband/wife has long been defined in the book of life – the Bible.
And for all those who have been defining what true love really is, the Bible has laid it down a long time ago.
One of the best definitions is written in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 which says “Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” This alone can keep us guided even for men pursuing a prospective wife.
Having read this, I’ve been reminded of what kind of man every woman deserves to lead her and their future family. This is an affirmation that we must not settle for a love that does not sacrifice and endure, something that can’t stay true and faithful. A man who wants everything easy and doesn’t want to pursue. A man who puts you at the back seat and treats you as a least priority.
There is more to life than giving in to pressures from other people’s love stories. Their stories are not yours. God has crafted a phenomenal one for you that even you couldn’t have thought of.
While some are still in the process of waiting, the best thing to do is to honor the season, enjoy, seek God more, and be patient. Sometimes, we just have to let God do the work.
It pays to wait patiently until God reveals what’s in store for us than to hastily open a gift that is not yet due to be presented.
Proverbs 19:2 says “It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way.”
God has His reasons why some are not leveling up to the next season yet. And why some are still left with so much question and hurt.
Stay in prayer. Believe in the process even during uncertainties. Surely God will reward your obedience. Waiting season is also a pruning season. This is where God irons out what needs to be corrected in us to be the best partners for our “God’s best”.
He will introduce you to the “Man of God” who is capable of leading you, loving you in ways you never thought existed, in the purest manner that only those who have genuine intentions can make. God is going to present to you a man who will secure you every single day through his words and consistent actions. A man who is willing to go hard for you. He will never be perfect but he will surely be the best for you.
It is often said that nothing worth having comes easy. If we let our God-given plan take its course in our lives, one thing is sure, no matter how hard it may be, we can never go wrong – we will always win.
We must never forget that a God-centered love that waited, sacrificed, and endured, is the kind of love that is difficult to let go and throw away.
Blog entry by Jelene Fule
Photo by Iya Torres Nebriaga
Layout by Eunice