I have been reflecting on the calmness and the stillness of my heart these days. The peace and the contentment are so surprising and unusual that I am afraid these won’t stay long. That these are just one of those moods that shift whenever the hormones wish to.

Sure, homesick still hits hard when it strikes yet staying doesn’t dread me anymore.

Sure, I am still waiting for the answers to my prayers for my family. Hopefully waiting.

Sure, there are still job struggles but things are getting manageable and I’m getting to learn to embrace where I am now.

Sure, that I could mostly get in despair and the thought of growing old alone still scares me, yet I am so appreciating the love I am surrounded by right now that I feel so content I couldn’t even imagine my heart could really be.

But this stillness and this calmness, this peace and this contentment, are they stopping me from chasing my dreams? How about the passion I am frustratingly praying to pursue? Are these making me complacent of the goals I wanted to reach? Am I being content or am I being complacent?

And then there’s the book of Ecclesiastes reminding me that for everything there is a season.

“a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;” Ecclesiastes ‭3:5-6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Why not just be grateful of this stillness? That instead of doubting because it’s unusual, acknowledge that the source of this stillness is Jesus, who gives peace that transcends all understanding. Jesus, who wants our joy to be complete. Jesus, whose love is steadfast and whose love endures all day and forever.

That stillness is not the absence of trouble or pain but the result of surrendering every beat of our hearts to the sovereign hand of God.

That when I feel like I am losing hope to reach my dreams, I am sure I am winning on waiting upon the Lord and winning on trusting His plans for me.

Photo and Blog Entry by Iya Nebriaga


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